Tuesday, December 8, 2009

My clone.

My clone would be awesome. She would be everywhere I can't be. She would do the hard stuff, the boring stuff, the stuff that pays the rent. She would go to work for me when I am sick. She would never complain.
She would be constantly available to get shit done when I have places I'd rather be. She'd prevent me from disappointing people that mean the world to me.
She'd lay next to me and stroke my hair when I cry because I'm so scared of what the future will bring. She'd rub the constant pain in my neck and back. She would be my best friend. My cohort. She'd never tell my secrets and we'd agree on everything.

My life got hit by a tornado in the past 6 weeks. I was badly injured in a car accident and then things at my job started to fall apart. I've taken a hiatus from modeling for an undetermined amount of time.

I have no idea what is going to happen next. I just hope that all the people in my life understand that I can't be who they need me to be right now. Because I don't have a clone. And I've got to handle shit all on my own.

Friday, December 4, 2009

We Fear Change.

I like consistency. I like when things are planned and ready to go. I hate uncertainty and the unknown.

Right now I'm going through some major life changes and experiencing a lot of anxiety over the whole thing. There are some great possibilities on the horizon, but to reach them I will have to leave behind a place in which I have been very comfortable for a very long time. To put it bluntly - I'm terrified.

It's snowing outside right now. This is an unusual occurance here in Houston, Texas. Most people are enamored with it. Taking pictures and ooh-ing and awe-ing. I personally find no joy or beauty in it. To me it just looks cold and makes me want to crawl back into bed and not come out until Springtime when the sun is warm again.

But alas, I must find all the inner strength I have and go out into the world to take care of business and do things properly.

*In other news* I would like to cangratulate my dear friends Gabe & Vanessa who had a beautiful baby girl last night. Welcome to the world, little Lily.

Now, enjoy some naughty photos and stay warm tonight!

These photos were taken by Mr. Alan Perkins.

*click a photo to enlarge it*