Friday, August 21, 2009

Someone Actually Wrote This About Me.

The person shall remain nameless, but I almost cried when I read it because most people can only hope to be seen like this through someone else's eyes...
I'm completely undeserving and as flattered as a human being can possibly be.

"At this moment, I feel the need to write this note about one of my favorite people ever. I know she's probably going to read this and think that I'm putting her on a pedestal, but how can I not? I'm attempting to write this without irony, but simply put: she is better than us. I mean, just look at her. Luckily, for those of us that notice, she is beautiful on the outside. She is a model/actress/goddess/bartender. And that seems pretty cool.

I'm going to try tosum her up in the three basic stages I've seen her in:

1. Cute Roxy: Fucking cute cute cute. Puppies, babies, retarded kids and all other things cute have nothing on this display. Jeepers!
One simple example: I skipped classes one day. The responses; Friend 1: slaps me, Friend 2: self-righteous as usual, Roxy: high fives all around.
Fuck Yes! When she feels like it, she can turn on that fountain of charm. She turns on the cute switch and us boys, for a few moments, are in her control. I don't want to meet the type of person who doesn't enjoy this. Cuteness all around. And I can't get enough.

2. The Lioness: "Miller Lite" (instead of 'Can I have a Miller Lite?'),
"Did you do that on purpose or did somebody play a prank on you?" (about her hair). "Something, something, something you fucking dike."
These idiots have no fucking idea of the power they are toying with. She does all in her power to keep from incinerating these dickbags from any of the ninja/samurai/some cool third thing moves she keeps hidden way up her sleeve. It's all Roxy. She knows it's not polite to completely fuck your shit up so she holds it back. Sometimes, it hurts her inside. The price of being a goddess.
Another example: After a particularly stupid night, I became a damaged person. Roxy was informed. She hugged me for what felt like hours. I felt like a person again.

3. The New God: That's a pretty huge title but i'll attempt an explanation. Photographers/producers/directors: they're all over that shit. And who could blame them? They want to capture the essence of what they think is a perfect person. If only they knew how right they were. Her curse is that she is also beautiful on the outside. I mean, fuck. Yep. There's no way around that. She is a female Adonis. Whatever that is. Perhaps Roxy's only flaw. But who could blame her? Would you fault Charles Bronson for being a fucking badass, or Winston Churchill for saving western civilization? Wait. Oh. You would. Really? Nevermind then."

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Vamping Out.

What is the world coming to? People read one little 7th grade reading level vampire series and suddenly, they think they are scholars on Vampire Lore. Yes I'm talking about the pop culture phenomenon known as Twilight.

Let me start by saying, I have not read the Twilight saga. I prefer to keep it above a 7th grade reading level, thanks. I did however, read a lot about the novels and their plots and see the movie. (I just had to know what all the fuss was about.) And the fuss was about pretty much nothing if you ask me.

is basically a rip off of a thousand other better vampire stories. Only, Twilight has the fun little distinction of also being a veil for Mormon Abstinence Propaganda. The main character is a mousy little chick with no personality to speak of. She's simply a placeholder for girls to project their own personalities onto. This works especially well for young girls with little self-esteem. It's all a metaphor for girls who weren't pretty enough to get the hot guys in high school. The vampire is the jock. The girl is the smart, artsy chick that no one understands. I'm talking to you, Stephenie Meyer.

This rant is the result of a funny little argument I had recently with a couple friends. These friends claimed that Edward, the vampire star of Twilight would win in a fight with the Vampire Blade (who happens to have dedicated his entire life to being a super efficient Vampire hunter with all of their strengths and none of their weaknesses.) I know, I laughed too.

It got pretty heated, and my brain almost exploded. Since I was 12 years old I have done extensive research and studies on Vampire Lore. I endured relentless teasing in school because I wore a T-shirt with blood spray on it that said "Drink from me and live forever." Thank you, Lestat. I've spent years reading vampire fiction and if asked, will gladly name all of the ways that Twilight unoriginally rips off a dozen other vampire novels, short stories and films.

My point, and I do have I don't mind if people enjoy Twilight. Have at it. Just don't expect me to enjoy it with you, or even have a shred of respect for it.

Recommended Reading:

Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles (all 12 of cheating!)
Bram Stoker's Dracula
Stephen King's Salem's Lot
Charlaine Harris's Sookie Stackhouse Series
Whitley Streiber's The Hunger

Recommended Viewing:

Near Dark
The Lost Boys
Blade II (the best in the series)
Interview with the Vampire

More interesting reading: See what others think in this hilarious thread on Model Mayhem!

For being such good boys and girls and listening to me rant, here are some hawt photos of me in full Vamp mode.

*click photos for larger version*

Thursday, August 6, 2009

New York Doll.

Hello Loves!

Last night I returned from my trip to New York City and I slept for 16 hours. That should tell you how exhausted I am! When you live in Houston, you get in your car to drive a quarter-mile. In NY, you walk....everywhere.

The weather was gorgeous in New York and Natalie, Crys, Melissa and I had a fabulous time shopping, eating delicious food, and drinking wine all night long! I also had a photoshoot with New York photographer Brian Burk and I'll post those images very soon!

We stayed in Park Slope, a lovely trendy neighborhood in Brooklyn. We went to the Guggenheim, Times Square, Central Park and tons of other awesome NY sites. I bought some one-of-a-kind designer fashion in SoHo and some awesomely junky trinkets in Chinatown.

All in all, it was a fun, fabulous trip and I can't wait to go back!

Now enjoy some photographic highlights...
*Click a photo for the larger Version*
In Central Park
At the Guggeheim Museum

In Times Square.

Going to my on location photoshoot!

Me, Melissa, Crys & Natalie at Steinhoff.